In the spring of 2010, I became a certified medical assistant. I was very excited and eager to work with patients. I did internships at a family medical clinic and an obstetrics and gynecology practice. I wanted to work in the health field since I was a high school student. Once my symptoms worsened and I got my diagnosis, well, that dream died a painful death.
Initially, when I was spending so much time in bed due to severe and debilitating fatigue, my husband did not understand and was not very compassionate. He finally arrived and his empathy blossomed like a rare flower. He used his gift of service to take care of me. Unfortunately, this ultimately led us to be more patient and caring than husband and wife. That broke my heart!
Keeping friendships is a challenge. Since I do not drive anymore and I’m not always up to company, most of my friends continue with their lives. I remain just a speck on their radar. I know that many of you can relate. Loneliness is not something any of us would have chosen. We were meant to be in a community.
I saddened all this and more, such as:
- My weakened muscles that keep me from doing long walks.
- The tiredness that keeps me almost in bed.
- My inability to get in and out of a bathtub, which prevents me from taking a long hot shower.
- The fog of the brain that assumes when I least expect it.
- Being robbed of the joy of cooking.
- Being unable to sit for long periods of time due to pain in the coccyx.
Sometimes I have to allow myself a good cry because the losses accumulate and need to be released like a rusty old valve. You and I may regret differently and about different things that we have lost along the way on this journey, but I am grateful for the camaraderie we can find here.
It is an honor to walk this journey with you!
